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A PRÉCIS

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a-precis:

Things I will literally never understand in a million years:

  • bronies
  • "otherkin", or whatever the fuck people who think they’re plants are called
  • extremists of any kind or creed
  • how Speedway can afford to sell 64oz drinks for 89 cents. 
  • Fisting
  • people who don’t like cheese
  • how RC Cola still exists
  • why my mum thinks she’s fat (she weighs like 100lbs)
  • how anyone could ever in a million years dislike cheese I mean seriously it is so good

GUYS I FORGOT BEING LACTOSE INTOLERANT WAS A THING FOR A SECOND I’M SORRY I NOW REMEMBER HOW PEOPLE COULD DISLIKE CHEESE

A short and sloppy video of me singing and saying hi…anywhats, hey all!

You are too hot to be wearing pants all the time. You should definitely take those off.

Asked by Anonymous

The thing is: my vagina smells like catfish

Asked by Anonymous

bish whet?

So, how much weight have you actually gained recently? Was it all after you came back to America, because you don't look much bigger. Either way, with your bone structure, broadness, and beard, you can pull it off well.

Asked by Anonymous

I actually haven’t really gained any recently. I did first semester of the last school year, up to 217 or so. I’ve been hovering around there since then! Thanks for the kind words :)

What size clothes do you wear? You can probably pull off anything, even skinny jeans.

Asked by Anonymous

Honestly, it depends on the brand.  I’ll try and break it down here: 

Polo Ralph Lauren:

  • Shirts: L

Brooks Brothers: 

  • Shirts: L

American Apparel: 

  • Nothing, because I’m not a twig

Hollister: 

  • Skinny Jeans: 36W33L

American Eagle:

  • Shirts: L
  • Pants: 34W33L

Chubbies Shorts:

  • Medium 

H&M:

  • Everything and nothing because I’m pretty sure whoever makes their clothes has schizophrenia and can’t land on one size.

That’s a pretty basic breakdown 

Do you have a YouTube channel?

Asked by Anonymous

I don’t, but I’ll be making one soon (maybe)! If you wanna keep up with me in ways other than Tumblr, you’re welcome to check out my instagram/twitter (@DTMALONE) pages~

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